Ecce Duchess of Cambridge
Art critics clashed yesterday about the new portrait of the Duchess of Cambridge.
Brian Sewell, who is an expert on miniatures since his days of viewing pictures taken on tiny cameras by spies, said that it was about as good an effort as David Hockney was ever likely to make, seeing as how he normally paints trees purple.
Prince Charles, whose collection of novelty toilet roll covers is said to include a jeweled one in the shape of a hawk from the Saudi Royal Family, said he didn't mind so long as they put it in a gallery which was properly half-timbered.
Her Majesty The Queen peered at it knowledgeably and asked the artist "And how long have you been a portrait painter?"
Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, refused to answer the trick question and said that he was thankful to have married a woman who, like his grandmother, did not change her hairstyle, which was always beautiful. But if she did change her hairstyle, that would be beautiful too.
He also wisely declined to comment on whether the Duchess was packing it on as the pregnancy progressed but snappers none the less made efforts to get the burgeoning mum-to-be to stand against the light and turn sideways.